When children get excited

This past weekend, a young boy friend of our daughter (8 years old) had the great fortune of being invited to a Vandy football game with his friend. He was SO excited. This is a boy who is what I call a real "connector." He is the kind of boy that EVERYONE loves. Smart, witty, fun to be around . . . most everyone in his school knows him and loves him . . . Tragedy struck on the way to the game. Max and his friend were arriving at the game a tad late, so the parents decided that the Father would drop them off at the stadium with the Mother and then find parking. As he brought the car to a stop, Max jumped out of the car with a burst of enthusiasm and ran into the street . . . He was immediately struck by an on-coming cab and died very soon after from severe head injuries.

Recounting this story just sends chills through my whole body. This happening affects me to my very core. What I know is that this was not anyone's fault. Max did what he did, and it is not likely that there was anything anyone could have done differently to avoid the accident . . . Who could have known? With that said, I also know that there are many people who feel the need to place blame . . . and others who will feel compelled to take responsibility . . . It is a tragic happening.

Since the birth of our first child, My wife Deb has been virtually fanatical about "controlling" our children when they are near a street or parking lot . . . anywhere there are moving vehicles. At times, I have marveled at this level of concern wondering how necessary it is . . . I now know that ONE mis-step has the potential for tragedy of proportions we can only imagine. For years, we have had our children hold hands together as we cross parking lots or streets . . . I am so very thankful for Deb's uncompromising vigilance.

Other tragedies have struck the community of our Elementary school this year. A Father committed suicide leaving behind 4 beautiful young girls and his wife . . . another Father died of a massive heart attack a few weeks ago leaving behind his wife and 2 children . . . ALL of these events have affected ALL of the children in this school . . . and now Max . . . How can they cope with this level of trauma? How can they possibly comprehend?

I believe Max's death has created a new reality for those who knew him . . . Especially his friends (including our daughter) . . . This is a level of "growing up" that we parents don't want our children to have to do at such an early age . . . It's a shattering of their innocence in some twisted way.

If nothing else, we know that Max impacted the life of every person who ever met him. I also know that his death sends a very clear message about the importance of protecting our children from their own enthusiam. I have no doubt that Max's exuberance created a surplus of adrenaline in his body, and when he opened that car door, he likely moved with super-human speed.

I am reading Andy Andrew's book "The Traveler's Gift" . . . In This book is a parable about a man who learns 7 Decisions that contribute to success . . . and the final lesson is that we are ALL important . . . We ALL contribute in some significant to the future of our planet . . .

I truly look forward to learning (years from now) of the great significance of the life of Max - I am certain that his death has trigered a series of events that will impact this world on a large way.

Meanwhile, Deb and I will continue to herd our children from the car to our destinations . . . Probably until they're in their mid twenties.

b
Barry Owen
Productivity Coach and Principal Broker
Keller Williams Realty - Nashville, TN - Green Hills
http://www.theowengroup.net/
www.activerain.com/barryo
Simply Living the FourFold Way in Open Space!

The First Decision

This morning, I begin really digesting Andy Andrews' Seven Decisions. I'm going to be a good boy and do the homework just as it is assigned - 21 days with each decision. This morning, I charted on my calendar, so I'll get a little reminder when it's time to move to the next decision.

I begin here with a quick summary of the first decision and the random underlining I did prior - I will make a copy of the decision and simply carry it with me on my clip board for the following 20 days. All of the Quotes below come from Andy Andrew's "The Traveler's Gift"

"And even if you're dreaming, that's not a problem. For centuries, dreams have been used to communicate instruction and direction to people of purpose - Great men and women."

"He believes in you."

"Occasionally, someone is chosen to travel the ages, gathering wisdom for future generations."

Barry: I believe we are ALL here gathering wisdom for future generations. Each and every being on this planet is here for a purpose.

"No one, (can see you) that is, except the person you came to visit."

Barry: This is a reminder for me to be present - IN the present - in all interactions.

"The ultimate outcome of any one's life is a matter of personal choice."

"David, we are all in situations of our own choosing. Our thinking creates a pathway to success or failure. By disclaiming responsibility for our present, we crush the prospect of an incredible future that might have been ours."

"You are where you are because of your thinking. Your thinking dictates your decisions. Decisions are choices."

"Until a person takes responsibility for where he is, there is no basis for moving on."

"The First Decision for Success - The buck stops here."

"From this moment forward, I will accept responsibility for my past. . . . Never again will I blame my parents, my spouse, my boss, or other employees for my present situation. . . . If I allow myself to blame these uncontrollable forces for my lack of success, I will be forever caught in a web of the past. I will look forward. I will not let my history control my destiny. The buck stops here. I accept responsibility for my past. I am responsible for my success. . . . My thoughts will be constructive, never destructive . . . When faced with the opportunity to make a decision, I will make one. . . My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement . . . Challenges are gifts, opportunities to learn. . . . Adversity is preparation for greatness,. I will accept this preparation."

That's it for now . . . Tough talk there, but the message is CLEAR. We each actually DO have control of our own destiny. We've only got to take personal responsibility and live passionately in the present without judgement . . . Sometimes this is much easier said than done.

I will stay with this message for today and the 20 days following . . .

I wish you a SUPER Thanksgiving - We all have much to be grateful for . . . When we "come from gratitude" our return on investment is HUGE.

Best,

b
Barry Owen
Productivity Coach & Principal Broker
Keller Williams Realty - Nashville, TN - Green hills
http://www.theowengroup.net/
www.activerain.com/barryo
Simply Living the FourFold Way in Open Space!

The Traveler's Gift - Surprise Home work Assignment

As I was reading "The Traveler's gift" by Andy Andrews, things were going well. What a great story he has told - and wonderful pearls of wisdom. So much of what he says "re-packages" many of the concepts I hold near and dear to my heart - Things like Taking personal responsibility - Following PASSION - Living with GRATITUDE - being NON-JUDGEMENTAL - and persisting through The dips of life - Pushing through the tough times when the vision is clear.

Anyhow, I was happily reading along savoring every morsel and feeling good about my choice to read the book. This was an easy and entertaining read. I found myself nearing completion of the book in a mere 2 days. I began to think that maybe this month would be one of those months in which I would read more than one book. I generally do not begin another book until the current book is "fully digested." The light at the end of the tunnel was getting brighter.

Mid-way through reading the 7th Decision - page 163 - my plot to move on to another book quickly was thwarted by the following dastardly and TOTALLY unexpected HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. Yes, Andy Andrews had slipped this discreet paragraph in the midst of one of the final chapters. I guess an unaware reader might miss the assignment and thereby potentially not get the full benefit of the book. For me, it was a clear message to take whatever time is necessary for me to fully "GET" the 7 Decisions. Here's what he said - My words in ( ):

"You are the last Traveler. (Laying on a HUGE burden of responsibility - No one can do this but YOU) There will not be another. You have been given a gift that has the power to change your civilization. Everything from this moment on will key upon you." (Your personal sphere and influence can be as powerful as you allow it to be - It's up to YOU to give it breath)

"You will study one decision at a time, each for twenty-one days. You will read it aloud twice daily during that time. First upon awakening, and again, as the last thing you do before sleep. You must not miss a day. Each decision will become a part of your being, buried in your heart, captured in your soul."

"You will share the gift of the decisions with others. Those who absorb and apply this wisdom will rise to greatness and inspire others to the same heights."

WOW!

Such responsibility . . . I'm game :-)

So in the next several days, I'll do my homework and will summarize each of the decisions here as I progress. This seems to be a great "training ground" for establishing a ritual of saying affirmations daily.

Thank you Andy Andrews,

Best,

b
Barry Owen
Productivity Coach and Principal Broker
Keller Williams Realty - Nashville, TN - Green Hills
http://www.theowengroup.net/
www.activerain.com/barryo
Simply Living the FourFold Way in Open Space!

It's all the same . . .

I don't often post other people's posts - Seems that I tend to simply spew my stream of consciousness thinking here and send it out to the stratosphere that is the worldwide web. My Father Harrison Owen posted something to the Open Space Technology ListServe a few days ago that resonated deeply with me . . . I can't get it out of my mind. One of my favorite sayings has ALWAYS been: "We're all in this together!" We might as well enjoy ourselves, right?

So - Below is Dad's post:

"Doubtless I have led a blessed and charmed life, at least some might think so and I know so. But the truth of the matter is that funding for my work has never been something I worried about, at least not much. In one way or another things just got taken care of, although not always in the time frame or amount that I hoped for or expected. Starting in the late '70's when I left my last honest job (where I actually got a pay check) I simply followed my nose. If there was a plan I don't have a clue what it was, although in retrospect everything seems to make a certain amount of sense. And my nose took me to lots of interesting nooks and crannies, most of which looked nothing like a job or a paycheck. My fascination with organizational culture, myth (story) and ritual was viewed as odd to say the least, and when I ventured into the strange new world of transformation in organizations the common judgement, I think, was that I was just weird. As for Open Space Technology that, as you all know, was a matter of two martinis. Talk about the cost of doing business:-) Regardless, I just kept following my nose. And to date, I have never missed a meal. On occasion friends and colleagues would ask what it was that I thought I was doing -- and truthfully I couldn't really say. The closest I ever came to getting "it" into words went something like this. It was my hope to somehow contribute to the business of making human life human.
Is there a lesson here? Maybe. One thing that pops out is that I never made any effort to define "community" -- or maybe more accurately my definition was about as broad as it could get -- human life, or all of humanity. Everything was connected even if I couldn't see it at the time. I have worked in Barrios and Board rooms and as far as I could see it was all the same. People being people trying to get on in the world. Some did well, some not so well, but doing well never seemed to have much to do with their station in life. Corporate presidents could appear as paupers, and beggars as kings. What I learned in one place always had application in another, and when I connected deeply with some individual that connection always led to deeper connections with others. Does this make any sense? I don't know, but it has been fun.
Harrison
Harrison Owen"

WOW!

This distilled SO much into SO few words. With this gift of wise brevity, it's no small wonder that Dad has lived a charmed life :-)

I have already incorporated some of this into my coaching. The one thing I believe many just don't get is their own, personal, unique power and influence in the world. Who cares if we're "remembered" or historically significant . . . The important is the here and NOW . . . the PRESENT! Authentic living impacts everyone in your path/wake.

Judgement and proselytizing does not have an iota's more influence on the world than a person's self-awareness and genuine contact with the world. KNOW WHO YOU ARE and BE that person, and you will positively shape your world.

My favorite quotes from above?

"It was my hope to somehow contribute to the business of making human life human."

Everything was connected even if I couldn't see it at the time.

People being people trying to get on in the world."

In the past 2 years, more people I know than ever in my sphere have died in a variety of ways . . . Tragic accidents - Disease - Sudden heart attacks - Crime victims - and (most tragic IMHO) suicide. I have been exposed to more death than ever in my life. Perhaps this has to do with my age (45) - I don't buy that one because many of these folks who have died were in the 18-45 age group. Each funeral has been a time of "Celebration of the life of . . . " . . . and each one has significantly impacted me PERSONALLY. It is VERY clear to me that we are each here for a purpose, and we are all connected, and we ALL "make a difference" . . . We are all here "trying to get on in the world."

Live your life in celebration of NOW. I least understand those folks I knew who chose to take their own lives. Those are the ones who cheated themselves out of the rest of their lives . . . out of seeing their children grow and prosper . . . and have cheated their families out of benefiting from their gifts. There is no amount of angst I can conjure up in my mind that would lead to such a draconian resolve.

I went a direction here that I didn't begin writing to go - I guess I needed to vent.

I'm here for the duration :-)

Remember - We're all in this together!

Best,

b
Barry Owen
Productivity Coach & Principal Broker
Keller Williams Realty - Nashville, TN - Green Hills
http://www.theowengroup.net/
www.activerain.com/barryo
Simply Living the FourFold Way in Open Space!